


Only if you're looking can it find you

by Confettibites



Series: Kinktober 2019 [22]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Crying, Crying During Sex, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of it, M/M, Steve Harrington being the perfect boyfriend, at this point it's just canon that Billy cries a lot, love making
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 09:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21159389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Confettibites/pseuds/Confettibites
Summary: Kinktober Day 22- CryingIt doesn’t happen every night. But it’s often enough for Steve to make a habit out of leaving his bedroom window open during the nights. Sometimes he wakes up with a sleeping Billy curled up at his side. Sometimes Billy makes a noise when he climbs in, trips or grunts and Steve can lift his sheets to let Billy under them right next to him.Steve knows this is one of the bad nights when he wakes up to the sound of sobbing.





	Only if you're looking can it find you

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy.

It doesn’t happen every night. But it’s often enough for Steve to make a habit out of leaving his bedroom window open during the nights. Sometimes he wakes up with a sleeping Billy curled up at his side. Sometimes Billy makes a noise when he climbs in, trips or grunts and Steve can lift his sheets to let Billy under them right next to him.

Steve knows this is one of the bad nights when he wakes up to the sound of sniffling. To the sound of sobbing. He blinks his eyes open and tries to gain some orientation in his room. It must be pretty early still. He can see the outline of Billy’s body sitting on the side of the bed. His head is hanging between his shoulders, body shaking with every quiet sob. Steve can tell Billy is trying to keep quiet and kind of hates it.

Carefully Steve sits up, suppresses a hiss once the cold morning air hits his legs and scoots closer to Billy.

He knows that Billy heard him because he didn’t jerk away when Steve rests his head on his shoulder and hugs his arms around him.

“Hey baby,” Steve says. His voice is still low and full of sleep. 

Billy leans his head to the side, rests it against Steve’s.

“Wanna talk about it?”, Steve tries.

Billy lets out a huff that sounds a lot like another sob. Steve pulls him a little tighter against his body.

“What time is it?”

“Like… four?”

“Wanna try and sleep a little then?”

“Yeah okay.” “Come on, I’ll help you undress,” Steve says. 

Billy nods and lets Steve pull his jacket off his shoulders. Steve stands up then, pulls off Billy’s boots and tries not to look at his teary face too obviously. No black eye, no split lip. Steve always checks that. It looks like Billy isn’t hurt apart from the fact that his eyes are red and his face looks shiny wet even in the darkness.

Once Steve is done, Billy unbuttons his pants and kicks those off too before he climbs under the sheets next to Steve. It’s ridiculous how much warmer Billy feels compared to Steve although he hadn’t been under the blanket before.

Billy clings onto him. He rarely does this, even if they’d gotten much better with the whole intimacy thing by now. Progress, Steve would call it. Hugging like this, with Billy holding Steve with all his might is still something to be considered rare.

“It’s okay,” Steve says, petting over Billy’s head as he holds him close, too. “You’re okay. You’re with me now.”

Steve can’t understand what Billy replied. It’s all mumbles and wet sounds against his chest.

“Hey, hey,” Steve says, trying to calm him. “Look at me?”

Billy tenses for a moment and then complies to that, looking at Steve with teary eyes and the darkest lashes. Steve wants to kiss every ounce of pain away.

“Couldn’t hear you,” Steve says instead.

“Said that-“ Billy’s body makes him sob involuntarily again. “That he threw it away. My mom. You know the picture in my room?”

“Shit,” Steve says. He wants to ask why but knows better. Neil Hargrove isn’t a man of reasoning.

“Only noticed that it’s gone. Don’t even know when it happened,” Billy shakes his head, leans it against Steve again, after, seeking out more physical contact.

“Maybe he hid it?”

“No, it’s… He threatened to do this before. Like… I know he did it. I know he took it. And the worst part is that I didn’t notice. I could have picked it out the trash but I couldn’t… wasn’t paying attention. It’s my fault.”

“Hey, come on, you know that’s not true. It’s not… you don’t have to constantly be looking at it to know that it’s important to you. He did this. Don’t beat yourself up.”

Billy snuggles his face into Steve’s chest. “Doesn’t feel like it. Shouldn’t have had it out there like that. Not with him talking about it. I- I just didn’t think, he’d ever take her from me. It was the last photograph…”

“You think he broke it, too?”

“Nah, just put it in the trash with the frame too, probably. Doesn’t matter. It’s long gone.” “Let’s drive to the junkyard this weekend. We’ll look.”

“Yeah, big fucking chance that we’ll find a picture frame there, Harrington,” Billy snarls.

“I’ll ask El for help. It’s… worth a shot at least, don’t you think?”

Billy doesn’t answer that. Steve thinks that maybe he doesn’t want to get his hopes up for there to follow disappointment again. It doesn’t matter. Steve pulls him a little closer in his. embrace.

“You know, I don’t deserve you,” Billy mumbles after a while. 

“Hm?” Steve might have closed his eyes for a second too long. It takes him a moment to process these words. “Why would you say that?”

“You know what I would have done, if… Say two months ago. If that had happened. What I would have done then?”

Steve thinks he knows the answer to that.

“Drive around all night, find something to break,” Billy huffs. “Get home with bruised knuckles and a black eye and pick a fight with my dad, too, you know, since I’m already hurting. It’s like, he can’t really do anything to me then.”

“Doesn’t matter. You came here this time.”

“Yeah. Still, don’t think I deserve you,” Billy says and then his mouth finds Steve’s and he’s kissing him. “Praying you don’t wake up one day and notice that, too,” he adds with a smile.

“Fat chance,” Steve huffs and pulls Billy closer by his hips. “Waking up is better when you’re here.”

“No getting tired of me?”

“Billy, I just offered to spend my Saturday digging through junk with you so we can find your mom’s picture. I’m pretty sure that answers your question.”

“Fuck, I love you,” Billy mumbles, and then he’s pushing Steve onto his back and follows promptly so he can deepen the kiss. 

Steve doesn’t even get a chance to say it back right away, because Billy’s lips are demanding his attention. He’s even closer now than he’d been before, like he needs the touch right now, all that he can get.

“Can we?”, Billy asks, his hands wandering down Steve’s sides with the tips of his fingers slipping under the waistband of his shorts.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Wanna feel you,” Billy says.

A few things just happen on autopilot at this point. One of them gets the lube out of the nightstand drawer. Further undressing happens. And then Billy’s moaning against Steve’s chest as Steve works two fingers into him. They have a routine with this and even the position, with Billy laying on top of Steve right now, isn’t something they haven’t tried before.

Steve makes sure not to stall. Even though it’s early and they should have all the time in the world, Billy is shaky and looks so urgent. Steve would give him anything he’d ask for.

When Billy feels soft and loose around him, Steve turns them over, so Billy’s laying on his back, golden hair fanning out on the pillow. He looks so beautiful in the starting early morning light that Steve has to lean in and catch his lips for a kiss.

“Come on,” Billy urges, hand reaching down to free Steve’s dick from his shorts.

Steve moans against his lips when Billy gives him a few pulls. Neither of them feels like waiting any longer so Steve lines himself up with Billy and then sinks into him, slowly.

Billy’s mouth is half-open and there is a tiny furrow between his brows that looks adorable. Steve can’t take his eyes off of him. His face looks so raw like this.

Steve’s not sure if they’d ever fucked like this. Or rather: He’s pretty sure they haven’t and it doesn’t feel that right to call it fucking either. The way Billy looks at him like Steve’s the only thing in this world worth laying eyes on. The way they are holding each other. There is no direct urgency, not heated words or snarky lines. Only looking at each other, breathing the same air and holding onto each other as if the other one could vanish any second.

“I love you,” comes over Steve’s lips. He doesn’t even plan it. He plans to kiss Billy though, swallows his moans when Steve hits him deeply. 

Steve leans up again when Billy’s breathing changes and he can feel wetness against his cheeks. He freezes when he sees how teary Billy’s eyes are, how red his cheeks look, too.

“Don’t stop.”

Steve blinks a couple of times and then wipes over one big tear that’s streaming down Billy’s cheek. “You’re crying, baby.”

“It’s… feels so good,” Billy hums and then he moves his hips to urge Steve on again.

“You sure?”

“Please.”

Steve starts to move again, still at this slower and way more intimate pace. Keeps his thrusts shallow so he remains deeper and grinds against the spot he knows will feel good. 

He bows his head down to kiss the tears off Billy’s face and listens to the soft moans that leave Billy’s lips.

It’s so unrushed, the intensity of it so high that Billy’s orgasm hits them both by surprise. Billy bites down a whine and clenches tight around Steve, as he spills between their stomachs without Steve lending him a hand. He’s panting and there are still tears streaming down his face, when Steve follows him quickly, pushing into him deep and kissing him. 

They stay like this, kissing and breathing until the sun out and light comes into Steve’s room. Steve pushes some of the wettened hair out of Billy’s face and smiles at him when Billy mouths another I love you.

They fall asleep, still laying so close to each other.

Saturday comes and Billy doesn’t seem hopeful. He doesn’t look as broken as he did the night he showed up at Steve’s. The kids are all willing to help once Steve talks to them and it catches all of them by surprise when they get the picture back. It took El’s help and a whole day with the party on the junkyard but they dig it out, buried under a bunch of other trash. The glass frame is unharmed and Billy cleans it up with his sleeve. He’s smiling.

Steve pulls him in a hug. They keep the photograph at Steve’s place now. Billy knows it will be safe there, because he is, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> Comments/Kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> If you want to talk about these sweet, dumb boys, you can message me on Tumblr @Confettibites
> 
> Title is from True love will find you in the end by Daniel Johnston.


End file.
